


true love is when your mind is no longer at war with your heart

by RoxieOfficial



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, F/M, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Suicide Attempt, boys making out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-09 05:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14709743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoxieOfficial/pseuds/RoxieOfficial
Summary: Things get heated between Alex and Justin at the Spring Fling.





	true love is when your mind is no longer at war with your heart

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILER ALERT!! Don't read this if you haven't seen S02E13!! 
> 
> So, basically, I switched Alex's and Jessica's characters. Meaning, Alex and Justin used to date instead of Justin and Jessica + Alex got raped instead of Jess, and Jessica is the one who tried killing herself.  
> \-----  
> Title from one of r. h. Sin's poems.

Justin was alone when Alex joined him.

“ What are you doing alone in the dark? It's creepy, ” Alex's interrupted Justin's thoughts.

“ I'm not alone anymore, am I? ” Justin didn't looked up as he answered him. Having seen Jessica and him slow dancing earlier had already broken his heart. Knowing Alex was in love with someone else hurt him more than he thought it would.

“ What's with these matts? ” He pointed at the pile of matts laying at Justin's feet. Why was Justin even here, anyway? Why wasn't he dancing with them like he was a few minutes ago?

“ They must have had a wrestling meet yesterday, ” Justin said matter-of-factly.

“ We have a wrestling team? ” _Since_ _when_?

“ You were a waterboy. ”

“ Not for the _wrestling_ team. And I was a shitty waterboy. ”

“ Yeah, you were, ” Justin chuckled, finally looking at Alex who had moved closer to him since their conversation started.

Alex stared at him, faking hurt.

“ What? You said it! ”

“ Still! ”

Justin checked him out. “ You look beautiful. ” His voice was soft, like it always was when he was speaking to Alex.

Alex was still staring at him. Shock and discomfort clear on his face.

“ Sorry, ” Justin quickly apologized.

“ For saying I look beautiful? ” 

There was so much more he wanted to apologize for. Letting Bryce rape him, for instance. 

“ Yes. ”

“ So you're, like, living with Clay for real now, huh? ” Alex changed the subject as it was becoming awkward. He sat on the bench, beside the jock.

“ Yeah, they're adopting me, ” Justin smiled. It's been a while since Alex had seen that dimpled smile. “ Which, like, why anyone would wanna do that. I don't know. ” Justin's low self esteem had always been something that saddened Alex throughout their relationship. And even now, Alex found that unfortunate, because Justin was such a great person. Yeah, he might appear like an asshole at first, but when you got to know him, he was actually really sweet.

“ I do. ”

Justin slowly raised his gaze to meet Alex's eyes. The jock looked so shy at that moment.

“ Do you ever think about it? ” Justin whispered, catching him off guard.

Think about what? Getting raped? Yes, he thinks about it all the goddamn time. He thinks of it as he gets dressed in the morning. He thinks of it as he showers. He thinks of it as he sits in class. He thinks of it—

“ Doing what Hannah did? ” _Oh_...

Justin was on the verge of tears . Did he...? Did he ever think about it?

“ No. I don't. With everything that happened, I— I never thought it was a way to go, ” he answered, choosing his words carefully. 

“ I've had some shitty days. But... I always wanted to live. ”

“ Yeah. ”

“ I wanted to be alive. ”

“ I know. ”

They were looking into each other's eyes, trying to see if they were feeling the same things.

It's unclear who leaned in first, but any way, they ended up kissing. It was a relief for both of them. This moment was all Justin had been craving for the past five months. And Alex, although he had explicitly told Justin he never wanted to see him again, had never stopped loving him.

In that moment, as he took off his pants, a part of him couldn't help but think of Jessica. His sweet and beautiful girlfriend who, five months ago, had tried killing herself with her dad's gun. Jessica who had been his best friend ever since day one. But Alex forgot all of this as he felt Justin's warm hands unbuttoning his shirt. He couldn't help but moan under his touch.

Alex was straddling him, kissing him like a starved man. Justin removed Alex's shirt as well as his own. He was kissing every inch of skin he could find, leaving hickeys here and there on his pale skin. Alex had missed this, missed touching Justin's skin, missed kissing him, missed _making love_ with him.

Justin put his hands in the small of his back, pulling him closer to him. He had missed this proximity between them, how good it felt to have Alex's skin pressed against his own. He then put one of his hands in his hair, and the other on his waist.

“ I missed you, ” he breathed against his neck. “ I should've been there for you, I never should've left. ”

“ Let's not talk about it, now. ” Alex kissed him with all he had. _God_ , had he missed those lips. “ I think I'm ready with you, ” Alex murmured in his ear.

“ Are you sure, Lex? ” Justin asked, looking into his eyes. All he could see was love and lust.

“ Yes. ”

“ Just tell me if you're uncomfortable or if you want me to stop, alright? ”

“ I love you. ”

In that moment, Justin felt like life would finally get better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The majority of the dialogue comes from the show itself. I think there are only, like, 4 or 5 lines of dialogue that are mine in this work. I just really loved that scene between Justin and Jessica, and since I shipped Justin and Alex, I thought I would rewrite it, but with Jalex instead ;)


End file.
